The Best Oxymoron List

(The Best Oxymora - The Best Oxymorons)

An oxymoron is a consecutive set of words expressing conflicting meanings. In most cases, oxymora (or oxymorons to the mora among us) are obvious to us, like "adult children". But sometimes they hide in plain sight like "don't do" or "top floor". In any case, their population seems to be exploding, probably because they tickle the humorous humerus. Here are over 400 of the best of the oxymora (in my opinion) culled in 2005 from lists found on the Internet, plus a few more that I've added shown in bold type like "winged feet". Then there are the one-word oxymora, and the oxyidiots. [ NOTE ]

Only one instance of similar oxymora is given; for example, "minor disaster" stands in for "minor miracle", "minor crisis", etc., or "half empty" stands in for "half full", "partially full", etc. Of course, oxymoron has its counterpart called antioxymoron. For an antioxymoron list, visit The Best Antioxymoron List. This compilation does NOT include opinion (subjective) oxymora such as "accordion music", "English food", and "military intelligence" (even if Groucho Marx said it) because they are not only utterly biased, but also infinite in number, and fairly nasty. Also missing here are easily made up oxymora, like "little giants", "intense apathy", and "deeply superficial" (even if Andy Warhol said it) because such word pairs are not standard idioms, nor are they clever coinage (in other words, no fair just making them up like "fast snail" or "tense calm"). You will not find here pseudo-oxymora such as "steel wool", "sheep dog", and "common sense" (even if Voltaire said it) because these words don't actually contradict one another. The likes of "dull knife", "dry lake", and "hard pillow" are in the thousands and, if included, would turn the notion of "oxymoron" into cheap jewelry. Finally, names and titles like "Great Depression", "American Indian, True Lies", and "Dodge Ram" are not given because that list would be a small wonder in itself. For those interested, there is also The Other Oxymoron List which, of course, will never be complete.

above ground – adult children – all alone – almost exactly – alone together – altogether separate – another one – anxious patient – apparently invisible – assistant principal – assisted suicide – athletic scholarship – audience viewing – awfully good –

baby grand – bad goods – backdoor front – ball club – ball diamond – bar entrance – barely dressed – basic acid – bed canopy – behave badly – benevolent despot – benign neglect – big baby – bitter sweet – black light – blind spot – blue blood – boxing ring – brief longing – bring away – building wrecking – bus station –

calm breeze – can't can – cardinal sin – cheap jewelry – cherry tomato – citizen soldier – civil war – class clown – classic novel – clean dirt – clearly confused – climb down – cold sweat – come away – conspicuous absence – constant change – constructive criticism – conventional wisdom – cost savings – crack fix – crash landing – crazy sound – creative destruction – criminal justice – critical praise – crowded room – cruel joke – cute dog –

damaged goods – dark spot (i.e., spotlight) – deafening silence – death benefits – defensive attack – definite possibility – deliberate mistake – devilishly good – diamond ring – dig up – disaster relief – divorce court – doing nothing – don't do – dotted line – double solitaire – down escalator – drag race – dress pants – driving stance (in golf) – dry martini – dull roar –

easy task – earth angel – elevated subway – emotional reasoning – empty lots – escaped prisoner – essentially useless – even odds – executive secretary – extensive briefing – extinct life –

fairly dark – fairly nasty – far closer – farewell reception – fast food – fast idle – faulty logic – faulty sound (e.g. hissing) – feeling numb – few more, a – final draft – finally begun – find missing – fine mess – firm handshake – fish farm – fix breakfast – flat busted – flexible freeze – flood control – flying boat – forced choice – forgotten memories – foreign national – forward lateral – free press – free trade – free will – freezer burn – fresh frozen – front end – funny business – fuzzy logic –

gentleman bandit – genuine imitation – get taken – global village – good grief – graduate student – graphic language – great lack (of) – green orange – ground up – growing smaller – guest host – gunboat diplomacy

half empty – hall room – hard plastic – hard water – hardly easy – head butt – high ground – highly depressed – historical fiction – holy war – home office – homeless shelter – hopelessly optimistic – horror comics – hot ice – human nature –

ice water – idiot savant – idle gossip – idle work – ill health – income tax – increasing losses – incredibly real – industrial park – infinite in number – initial results – inside out – invisible ink – irate patient – jet lag – job hunting – juice bar – jumbo shrimp – jump seat – jungle gym –

lame effort – large minority – largely inconsequential – larger half – lead balloon – lean pork – least favorite – legal brief – legally drunk – left rights (e.g to protest) – leisure industry – light shade – liquid crystal – little more – little lot (real estate) – live recording – living fossil – local celebrity – long briefs – loose tights – loosely packed – loss leader – loyal opposition –

major general – man child – mandatory option – middle initial – mighty weak – mild enthusiasm – minor disaster – missing here – mobile home – modern history – morbid humor – mud bath – multiple dividends – muted sound – mutually exclusive –

narrow range – nasty fine – natural actor – nature preserve – needless requirement – negative growth – neutral color – never again – never ever – new age – new tradition – non-dairy creamer – non-working mother – none other – normal deviation – nothing much – now then – numb feeling – number one –

objective opinion – obstructed view – occupied space – odd evening – oddly familiar – old boy – old news – once again – one another – one pair – one-man band – only choice – open bar – open circuit – open house – open secret – ordinary event – original copy – outer core –

pack loosely – paid volunteer – paper tablecloth – park drive – partially completed – passive resistance – peace offensive – permanent change – personal business – petty officer – plastic glass – play dead – plea bargain – political party – positively neutral – positively neutral – press release – pretty ugly – primary conclusion – primitive technology – private citizen – probably impossible – progressively worse – public privy – qualitative data – quantum leap – questionable answer – quiet rage – quite unlikely –

raised sink – random order – real potential – reality show – really fake – recorded live – regular specials – relative stranger – religious tolerance – required elective – resident alien – restless sleep – retired worker – riot control – rising deficit – rock garden – rolling stop – round flat (i.e. apartment) – rough finish – rubber cement –

sad clown – safety hazard – same difference – sanitary sewer – scale down – scented deodorant – science fiction – screen door – second best – serious play (e.g. Hamlet) – set off – ship's hold – shock therapy – shoot blanks – sight unseen – short distance – silent alarm – simply brilliant – sit up – skinny broad – slave wages – sleep walk – slow speed – slumber party – small army – small wonder – soft rock – solid line – solo concert – some more – sound asleep – spectator sport – spoiled goods – sports scholarship – square knot – stand down – stands seating (i.e. bleachers) – start a tradition – steady vibration – stealth bomber – still life – still shaking – stop motion – store display – straight listing – strange friend – strangely familiar – strawberry blond – student teacher – studio apartment – sugarless candy – sun shade – sure bet – sweet pickle – sweet tart – synthetic natural gas –

talk show – talking pictures – tank up – tax relief – terribly nice – thick film – tick tock – tight slacks – tip toe – toll free – top floor – tough love – tragic comedy – travel lodge – travel stop – true story – truly false – turn straight – unacceptable solution – unbiased opinion – uncontested race – uncrowned king – uninvited guest – unknown identity – unsung hero – unusual routine – utter silence – vacuum filled – very little – virtual reality – war games – watch noise – water vapor – white chocolate – winged feet – wooden nickel – work party – working vacation – young adult